My mom brought over my journal from 2005, I have no idea where it was tucked away. I have accumulated many old journals over the years, decades, and am storing most of them in a box. I have contemplated burning them or shredding them because there's just so much angsty garbage on those pages, and I really don't want anybody to read that stuff. Even I don't want to read most of it. And yet - some entries are fun to read, like this one from a spontaneous trip to Puerto Vallarta with one of my best friends!
One of the fun things about reading these entries is reliving the memories, of course. But the other is that, while I have certainly changed and grown as a human, my lifestyle and many habits are pretty different - my essence is still the same. In particular, I still like and dislike the same things. This reminds me of one of Gretchen Rubin's Secrets of Adulthood: "You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do."
Speaking of things I like and dislike, I went through a coaching exercise to write down what lights me up and makes my heart sing. Most of the things on the list had nothing to do with parenting, other than the totality of being a mother, but even that is a lot more complicated than "lighting me up". What I mean is that a lot of aspects of parenting activities are so complicated - they are very nurturing and very tough at the same time. That said, one particular thing about my kids that gives me pure joy is seeing them interact and play together. I had no idea how much joy that would bring me when we decided to have two kids. They do fight, of course, but watching them be best buddies warms my heart with love and gratitude.
This is them waving "bye" to their grandma as she drove away after a visit.
Moving on to things I dislike: shopping for shoes. I wear size 10.5, which poses a lot of problems. Many brands do not make sizes above 10, and the ones that do often skip 10.5 and go straight from 10 to 11. In addition, my feet are wide AND I have bunions. Finally, I am 5'9" and don't love towering over people, though I'm still working on embracing that and wearing more heels, anyway. Because I just love how they look. BONUS: I stubbed my pinky toe several weeks ago, and it still hasn't healed. Maybe because I keep walking and running on it. This one is temporary, hopefully.
Anyway, this lovely pair arrived earlier this week, and I really like them. They are quite comfortable (even wearable with my pained toe right now), a good height. and the insole is LEATHER! Which makes your feet a lot less sweaty and more comfortable in warm/hot weather. I'm no foot model, but these are quite flattering!
I am contemplating buying one of the other colors either instead of or in addition to the black. They seem to be pretty good quality. They do make a bit of a sound when I walk and when my heel lifts of the sole, but I'm hoping that will go away. In any case, I can only spend so much of my limited time searching for shoes. Beggars with 10.5-size wide feet can't be choosers.
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