Easy Saturday

Virtual circle time on weekdays

It's Saturday. We made it to the weekend. Thank goodness we are with family and not stuck at home right now. Today I was able to sleep till 7, take a nap, not have to cook or clean much at all, and go for a solo walk and journal for a bit. And I'm still struggling!!

I was mostly staying away from the news for a few days, but ended up spending an hour online today and just lost it. I'm sad about my own situation, I'm sad about the situations of others who have it a lot worse, I'm sad about the underlying problems in our country and in our society that have both aided this crisis and that are being exposed by it. I also feel powerless to change any of it. I can't be un-pregnant right now. I can't hire an au-pair. I can't wave a magic wand and overhaul the healthcare system in this country. All I can do is just keep checking off each day and hope that this experience will somehow make me stronger in the end. Unfortunately, I don't have the same hope for our country, particularly after having read this article.

Other notes and updates:

• O and I went for a walk around Toluca Lake, a very nice nearby neighborhood. I look forward to taking M there during the week since they closed the parks and beaches in LA until April 19th, and we will need a change of scenery.
• I have had less than one cup of coffee today and survived. Really trying to cut down my consumption because I feel like drinking more doesn't really help anything, and it's just an emotional crutch.
• Caught up with a couple of friends by phone and text.
• Received a couple of t-shirts from Nordstrom. I'm a big fan of these, my older ones are looking pretty sad now, and they are fairly long, so I'm hoping I can wear them until the end of pregnancy.
• Ate a yummy chicken dinner cooked by my MIL. I'm so glad I don't have to cook a lot right now.
• Borrowed and downloaded Celine via my beloved Libby app, on recommendation from one of my favorite bloggers. Hopefully it provides a much needed escape! I'm not particularly interested in watching TV these days, for some reason. I have been getting through The Wire for the last several months, but I need something more uplifting these days, and I haven't found it.

From a Griffith Park outing earlier this week. It'll be off limits for the next few weeks :(

Self-control and caution tape

Today I managed to not browse the internet or read any news until 6pm. I am very proud of this, though I was definitely feeling some withdrawals. Somehow people did this regularly before 1998, or whenever the internet became part of our daily rituals!

I had the morning childcare shift today, so we went to Studio City Recreation Area again. O dropped off me and M and drove off to brave Costco. The park is, thankfully, still open, but the playground is taped off. The weather was pretty good, with some light rain mixed into a partially sunny morning. This picture actually looks more sad than I felt while there...maybe because there were other people at the park, but they don't appear in the photo.

In addition somebody dropped off a bag full of bright plastic toys next to the entrance of the (closed) Rec Center building. The bag had Frozen characters printed on the side. M saw it and kept wanting to go play with it. She said, "Maybe we take it home?" Ummm...no. Why would somebody do this during a pandemic? Were they trying to torture little girls and their parents?

Off to do dinner and evening routine!

27 weeks!

My COVID-19/third trimester exercise station

Another week of pregnancy down. It's weird to all of a sudden be in a position where I'm no longer the only one asking, "When will this end?" I wonder how being in a miserable/very uncomfortable/moderately uncomfortable state since mid-October has affected how I'm experiencing the pandemic and the social distancing it requires.

I am now officially done with running. But walking still feels very inefficient, and I like to get my heart rate up and sweat at least a little bit. Thankfully my in-laws have this basic exercise bike on their back porch. Nobody will be training for the Tour de France on this thing, but 30 minutes on it in the morning surely provides some physical and mental benefits.

Looks like the weather in LA will get into the low 70s this weekend and next week. I can't wait!!

COVID-19 Week #2 - three park visits

Today was a very nice day, clear with scattered clouds, sunny and reasonably warm. I had the "morning shift" for childcare, so M and I went to the park. The original intent was to go to Fryman Canyon, which is apparently good for celebrity sightings. But I couldn't figure out where the main entrance and the parking were, so we went to a smaller local park instead. Thankfully it had bathrooms and they were open! This almost-27-week-pregnant lady needs her bathrooms, and I can't just stop at a restaurant and a coffee shop these days.

M was very sweet, but didn't want to run around and expend energy. She did enjoy playing in the puddles from yesterday's downpour - I'm glad that her dad suggested putting on her rain boots. A bunch of people were walking their dogs in the park, and she was nervous, even though the dogs were mostly small, didn't bark, and were reasonably far away. We're social distancing, after all! Sigh...maybe one day she'll come around.

She asked to go home after an hour or so, but I took her to Griffith Park instead, since we still had a lot of time before lunch/nap. I thought I could entice her to walk up and down the steep trail. She likes hills. Alas, she just wanted to sit and snack on almonds on a bench. Oh well. She did tell me that I'm her best friend.

These days are exhausting, mentally and physically, and also so full of moments that remind me why having a kid is the best thing in the world.

One week down, ?? to go

Afternoon walk in LA

We've been staying with my in-laws for about a week now. It's been going as well as it could, given the situation. Everybody is getting along. M is happy and excited to have so much adult attention. O and I are taking turns watching her and working, and my MIL has been watching her A LOT. Hours and hours of help that we wouldn't have if we stayed home. So that's been truly amazing.

I have continued to feel like #&%$ a lot of the time...still mild but ongoing nausea, heartburn, a lingering respiratory infection from two weeks ago - maybe it's COVID-19, but who the hell knows, and I won't be able to get tested! I'm exhausted about 80% of the time, and tired the other 20%. And I'm sleeping about 8 hours a night, plus taking naps most days. Today I napped for almost two hours. It kind of helped.

The local 7-Eleven has a mini Beer Pong section!

That said, I've been pretty good about reminding myself to be grateful for the many many things I have:

• Lots of family time and family support
• Early morning yoga (using the YogaDownload.com podcast)
• Morning walks/jogs
• My boss and my company being really understanding. Definitely not as productive as I normally am or as I have set out in my goals
• Regular walks with O. Today we went on a hike in Griffith Park, and it was great to get out into some nature and spend time together
• Spring weather. It's been raining a bunch, but also some really nice sunny mornings, and in a week or so it seems like it will get a lot warmer here!

I think the gratitude helps me keep from falling apart. Though I can't guarantee that won't happen during this time. 

My MIL playing with M on the porch

I think I will look back on at least some of this time with fondness. And at least the pregnancy part of it will come to an end in three months, not sure about the pandemic part. Then we'll have a whole new crazy challenge...but I just can't think about that right now. 

Weekend recap

On Friday night, we received notice that M's preschool will be closing for three weeks (at least). So we decided to drive down to Los Angeles to spend some time with my in-laws. They both still work, but my mother-in-law is working from home, and at least this way O and I can put in a few hours of work a day (morning, dinnertime, etc.) and get a few breaks. Plus, they have a backyard where M can play outside, including a covered porch, which is great since it'll be raining on and off.

We spent Saturday taking M outside (in the rain!) and packing for our trip. O took M out for a couple of hours while I did a spin/strength workout at home, ran some laundry, etc. I briefly napped in her room after putting her down. After nap, I took her out and she really enjoyed playing in a puddle.

This morning we got up around 6-6:30, worked out (I did a very short but intense spin workout and then went out for a walk/jog, though the jog part was less than 0.5 miles and kind of painful). Then we finished packing. Packing took about 1.5 more hours than expected - we had a ton of food in our fridge from Friday's shopping trip (in anticipation of crowded stores this weekend), so wanted to bring that down to avoid wasting it. Thankfully M played independently and adorably most of the time.

We headed out a bit after 10:30. The freeways were clear - nothing like a pandemic to make a drive to LA super easy. We made a couple of long-ish bathroom stops, and still made it before 5pm. M did really well despite the long drive and very little screen time. She napped for less than 30 minutes though...oh well. Now my MIL is prepping dinner, O and M and are reading, and I'm looking forward to maybe a bit of relaxation time before bed...unless I just crash at 8:30. All in all, I am reminding myself that we are extremely lucky to be able to have this very comfortable "alternative arrangement" during a truly crazy and disturbing time. Oh, and my digestive system wasn't totally miserable today, so that was very nice, too.

Random photo from earlier this week, from an early evening scooter ride

Pregnancy update - almost 26 weeks

There is very little I enjoy about being pregnant. Aside from knowing that it will hopefully lead to the appearance of an adorable little human who makes my life fuller and makes my heart explode with love and tenderness...just like my other little human does. Not a small thing.

That said, there is a few "small things" that feel very big now and make me feel frustrated, dejected and downright depressed a lot of the time.

• I still have some low-level nausea these days, plus acid reflux and other hard-to-describe abdominal discomfort. My digestive system never really feels OK. Some parts of the day are better, some parts are worse. But it's very noticeable and relentless. This is by far the worst part of the whole experience.

• Also, I've read all about this "surge of energy" that comes during the second trimester, but I have not been blessed by such a surge. I feel like I need at least 9 hours of sleep a day, lots of coffee (a problem when pregnant), and am keeling over with exhaustion by 6pm unless I nap. Which is hard with a full-time job and with a toddler.
• On the positive side, the various aches and pains I was experiencing at this time during the last pregnancy are more mild this time. I don't have much symphysis pubis dysfunction symptoms this time - they began at about 15 weeks last time. I'm even still able to jog a few days a week, which feels like such a treat this time! 

How am I coping with this? 

• Exercise
• Therapy every other week
• Meditation (just started about a week ago)
• Positive self-talk? Sort of. 
• Reminding myself that I've already made it pretty far and that I will be done in just a few months, hopefully to NEVER do this again!
• Trying to take it one day at a time. Occasionally I even succeed!

Saturday - Rain and Coronavirus

We finally received some rain here in the Bay Area today. While I was LOVING the warm and sunny weather the last few weeks (I mean, I went for a walk in shorts and a tank top on Wednesday) the lack of rain was worrisome for snowpack and wildfire reasons.

That said, a rainy weekend with a toddler AND a developing Coronavirus epidemic is not easy. We are avoiding taking her to indoor spaces. I also have been a bit sick and coughing (no fever, thankfully) for about a week, and still have a cough, so I don't want to go to public places, either. Which means no friends' houses, no workout classes, etc.

This morning we went for a walk outside in the drizzle. It wasn't very cold, and not pouring. O and I were proud of ourselves for getting our kid out despite our discomfort. I walked with them for a bit, then went home to try and work out, but they returned not too long after me, I guess M got tired and there was no stroller. She demanded avocado toast, then we "exercised" together for a while, and eventually she went down for a nap. It's 2:20pm and I'm full from a very large grilled panini sandwich - the man at the deli very kindly microwaved the ham AND grilled the sandwich for me. Going to lie down and read for a bit. Maybe nap.